Breaking the Silence: Ending the Stigma Around Men’s Mental Health
Have you ever found yourself struggling but felt you couldn’t talk about it? Maybe you’ve thought, “I should be able to handle this,” or worried about what others might think if you admitted that you were having a tough time.
You’re not alone. One of the biggest barriers to men’s mental health isn’t the struggle itself; it’s the silence surrounding it.
My Personal Journey with PTSD:
In Wisdom at a Cost, I share a time when my life appeared to be a success story from the outside. I had the house, the title – Vice President at a multi-million-dollar company. But what most people didn’t know was that I was silently falling apart.
After years of managing emergencies and leading during the Gatlinburg wildfires, the stillness that followed was deafening. The urgency was gone, and in that silence, I was forced to confront emotions I’d buried for years. That’s when the depression hit. Not the kind you can just shake off, but the kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night with panic attacks and makes your chest feel like it’s caving in.
I kept telling myself to “get over it,” to “man up.” I’d outworked every other challenge – why not this one? But the truth is, no amount of willpower could lift the weight I was carrying. I didn’t have the language for what I was experiencing, and I was too ashamed to ask for help.
Eventually, I started small. I downloaded a meditation app, picked up my journal again, and started running (something about the rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement helped ground me). That inner voice I wrote about earlier this month was loud back then, and not in a good way. But I kept going.
Over time, I found strength in connection. The kind of brotherhood I talked about last week. People who didn’t try to fix me but simply showed up and listened. Later, I began therapy, and piece by piece, I found my way forward.
I share this now to say: you’re not weak if you’re struggling. You’re not alone if you’re hurting. You’re human. And healing doesn’t start when everything is perfect – it starts when you’re honest. First with yourself, then with someone you trust.
Why Is It So Hard to Talk About Mental Health?
For generations, men have been taught to “tough it out,” to keep their emotions bottled up, and to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. These messages aren’t just outdated; they’re dangerous. Recent studies confirm that men are significantly less likely than women to seek help for depression, anxiety, or stress, even though they’re just as likely to experience these challenges.
Stigma from both society and internal sources remains a significant obstacle. Many men worry that opening up will make them appear weak, inadequate, or “unmanly.” Research shows that these fears are rooted in cultural concepts of masculinity that prioritize self-reliance and stoicism; this stigma can result in social disconnection, reluctance to seek help, and even a heightened risk of suicide.
What Does Stigma Look Like?
Stigma can be loud, like being told to “man up,” or it can be quiet, like the fear of being judged or misunderstood. Sometimes, it’s the voice in your own head that says, “I can’t let anyone see me struggle.” For both men and women, stigma can make it harder to reach out, though it often manifests in different ways. For men, stigma is often associated with expectations of toughness and self-reliance, while for women, it can relate to the tendency to internalize distress or feel guilty about seeking help.
But here’s the truth: everyone struggles. Talking about it isn’t just acceptable; it’s healthy. In fact, both men and women who break the silence and seek support report better mental health, fewer days lost to depression, and even lower rates of suicidal thoughts.
Recent research highlights that men and women often face different health challenges. Men are statistically more likely to experience certain chronic conditions and higher rates of premature mortality, while women tend to encounter ongoing health concerns and are often more proactive in seeking help and utilizing health services. These differences illustrate that stigma and silence can impact anyone, regardless of gender, and emphasize the importance of open conversations and support for both men’s and women’s health.
Barriers to Getting Help
Recent research highlights both practical and attitudinal barriers for men:
- Many men believe they should solve their own problems or doubt whether therapy will help.
- Not knowing how to find the right support or what to expect from counseling is common.
- Cost, time, and lack of culturally sensitive care can also stand in the way.
Digital interventions, such as online support groups and mental health apps, are becoming promising tools, especially when they align with men’s preferences for privacy, action-oriented strategies, and peer support.
How Do We Break the Silence?
- Start with One Conversation: Sometimes, the hardest part is just saying, “I’m not okay.” Think about reaching out to a friend, family member, or professional. You might be surprised by how much lighter you feel.
- Challenge the Myths: Remind yourself and others that mental health struggles are common and that true strength lies in seeking support rather than suffering in silence.
- Listen Without Judgment: When someone opens up to you, simply listen. You don’t need to have all the answers; your presence and understanding matter more than you think.
- Normalize Self-Care: Caring for your mind is just as important as taking care of your body. Therapy, support groups, meditation, and open conversations with friends can all be beneficial.
- Explore Digital Resources: Online tools and communities can offer privacy, flexibility, and support, often making it easier to take the first step.
Need Someone to Talk To?
You’re never alone, and help is always available.
If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 to speak with a trained mental health counselor 24/7. It’s free, confidential, and available nationwide.
For additional support and resources, visit CONTACT Care Line. A trusted nonprofit providing compassionate crisis intervention and mental health support.
Big thanks to CONTACT Care Line for their continued work in our community and for supporting this message. Let’s keep talking and keep showing up for each other.
References for Further Reading:
3. Mental health - World Health Organization (WHO), 2023.
4. Improving mental health in Black men through a 24-week community program. PubMed, 2024
5. Global Mental Health: Where We Are and Where We Are Going. PMC, 2023
For Reflection:
- Is there something you’ve been holding in that you could share with someone you trust?
- How can you help create a safe space for others to talk about their mental health?
- If you feel comfortable, reply to this email or comment: What helps you break the silence when you’re struggling?
GRAB YOUR COPY TODAY
Responses