It’s that time of year again.
The calendar fills faster than your energy does. Deadlines stack up – everyone’s juggling projects, expectations, and the pressure to finish strong. In the middle of all that noise, it’s easy to think that if you just had more time, things would finally fall into place.
But the truth is: you don’t.
Over the years, I’ve had the unique perspective of leading on both sides – managing taxpayer budgets in government and managing customer expectations in the private sector. And they couldn’t be more different.
In government, this time of year is usually steady. You’re operating under a new fiscal-year budget. Maybe it stayed the same, perhaps you got an increase, or maybe you had to tighten your belt. Either way, most of the real pressure doesn’t hit until late spring.
But in the private sector, this is the storm season. It’s Q4. Customer deadlines are closing in, spending decisions pile up, and the urgency to finish the year strong can feel relentless.
Even though both are different, the pace isn’t. Between year-end responsibilities and the personal chaos that comes with the holidays, everyone’s calendar is packed. You simply can’t do it all.
So, before you add another thing to your calendar, take a breath. Once you strip out weekends and holidays, there are only about 34 working days left this year. How you spend them will decide whether you end December calm or completely fried.
The first step is to take inventory:
Start by writing everything down, and I mean everything.
Work projects, family events, travel, school programs, holiday parties – all of it. Don’t rely on your phone’s calendar for this one. Grab a pen and paper. There’s something about writing by hand that helps your brain connect the dots and remember what matters.
As you write, include the things you know are coming, even if the dates aren’t set yet.
- The in-laws’ Thanksgiving you haven’t heard details on.
- The company Christmas party (or your spouse’s) that’s still “to be determined.”
- The school concert that hasn’t been announced yet.
Leave space for those blanks. Getting them on paper early means you won’t be blindsided later, and it gives you a head start on communication.
Once it’s all visible, divide what you’ve written into three lists:
- Essential: non-negotiables that truly have to happen.
- Flexible: things that can shift to January.
- Noise: things you’re saying yes to out of habit or guilt.
You can’t prioritize what you haven’t faced on paper, and you can’t lead yourself well if you’re pretending the load is lighter than it is.
Once you see the full picture, it’s time to start talking about it.
Communicate Early:
You have your list. Now start the conversations. Fill the blanks: text, call, or email to fill in the blanks you wrote down earlier.
- Family: We’re mapping the next few weeks. What day are you thinking of for Thanksgiving?
- School: Check the website and newsletters for concert and early dismissal information. Add them now.
Set expectations at work:
Year-end is slow by nature. People take PTO. Vendors and subs do the same. Out-of-office replies pile up. Carriers get slammed with holiday shipping. Production timelines stretch even when everyone means well. Assume delays and communicate before they bite you.
So, if something might not finish by year-end, say it now:
- Quick update on Project X. With the holidays and PTO on both sides, timelines are tightening. Is December still a must-have, or should we look at early January?
- Are we still treating Project X as a December must-have, or does early January better serve the goal? I want to set the team and our partners up for success.
One honest message now saves weeks of silent stress later.
Saying No Without Guilt
Every no creates space for a better yes.
People-pleasing feels helpful in the moment, but it drains your long-term focus. You’re not rejecting others; you're protecting the capacity that allows you to show up as your best self. By saying no to the noise and honestly acknowledging your limits, you’re not disappointing anyone – you’re demonstrating respect.
Here’s the real cost of trying to please everyone: when you say yes to everything, you only give a portion of yourself to the people who matter most. And they deserve more than what’s left over.
If you’re in your 40s like me, that means you might have 30 or so more holiday seasons left to spend with your family and friends. And if you’re raising kids, that window is even smaller. As they grow, holidays shift, traditions scatter, and the moments we share together grow shorter.
Most people aren’t going to one Thanksgiving anymore: they’re going to four. Add a spouse’s work party, a Friendsgiving, and a dozen other gatherings, and it’s easy to forget what the season is even about. So, choose wisely.
Saying no isn’t selfish. It’s how you ensure the people who matter most get your best, not what’s left. Being fully present once is better than showing up distracted five times.
Plan Micro-Wins:
When everything feels urgent, the quickest way to make progress is to complete one thing rather than have multiple things “half-done”.
Think about it like cleaning your house.
You start in the living room, pick up a few things that don’t belong there, and carry them into another room. Then you notice that room’s a mess, so you start cleaning it too. A few minutes later, you’re in a third room - now none of them are finished, and the house still looks like chaos.
Instead, drop the items where they belong and go back to finish the first room. Call it done. Then move to the next one.
Work is no different.
- Close one project completely before touching another.
- Clean one inbox thread a day.
- Schedule January’s first check-ins now so that you can unplug later without guilt.
You’ll feel more momentum from one finished task than ten half-done ones.
Final Reflection
You have limited time left this year. Some tasks will get done; others won’t. The real win isn’t crossing everything off the list; it’s showing up fully for what matters most. Not being half-present in five places, but being all in at the few that count.
Prioritize honestly. Communicate early. And remember, saying no isn’t a bad thing. It’s how you make space for the moments that matter.
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