Leadership isn’t something you announce. It’s something you are – long before the meeting starts or the words come out.
August is a key time to renew our commitment not just to personal growth but also to how we lead ourselves, our families, our teams, and our communities. Because leadership isn’t only about titles; it’s about how we carry ourselves, especially when others are watching, and even more so when they aren’t.
One of the questions I get all the time from our clients is: “How do I become a better leader?” Whether that is from a middle manager or a company executive. And my answer remains the same: trust.
The most important takeaway is that you don’t earn trust; you gain trust, and you can only gain it by giving trust to others. You give trust to others through presence and consistency. It’s better to gain that trust from the start than to lose it and have to rebuild it.
Before a leader says anything, the room already knows who they are. Not by their title, not by their resume, but by their tone, their posture, and their consistency. That’s why presence matters. Because the energy you bring into a room will always speak louder than what you say once you’re in it. According to a 2022 study in Psychological Science (Cuddy et al.), people begin evaluating a leader’s trustworthiness and competence within seconds based on nonverbal cues alone.
So, if you feel like your team doesn’t trust you, I have bad news for you – they probably don’t. But don’t throw the towel in yet, because that “feeling” you have is called emotional intelligence (EI), and all great leaders have EI, so you have the building blocks of a great leader.
My Personal Journey:
Since the currency of effective leadership is trust, cashing it in can be a costly mistake, but it is not the end of the world. You can gain their trust back through consistency. A 2023 review in Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience explains how consistency is one of the clearest cues the brain uses to determine if someone is safe and trustworthy.
In my book, Wisdom at a Cost, I describe how I had to rebuild the trust of everyone in my life. In the most extreme example someone could give, I was a drug addict who lied, manipulated, and stole from anyone and everyone. In Chapter 19 titled: No One Is Coming, I explain how “Trust is lost in buckets and gained back in droplets...”
“...Trust doesn’t flow back in steady streams; it returns one drop at a time. Each drop is earned: through a right decision, a kept promise, or an honest apology. And when you’re refilling that bucket, you realize that with each drop, the level barely changes. Sometimes, days or even weeks go by without adding a single drop. To complicate matters, the people you betrayed must be willing to watch you refill that bucket, knowing it could take years—sometimes even decades—before it’s full again.”
Evidence-Based Practices in Leadership:
- Emotional Intelligence & Self-Awareness: EI consistently predicts leadership effectiveness. A 2020 systematic review in Frontiers in Psychology concluded that high-EI leaders improve team performance and reduce conflict. Better yet, EI is trainable, and targeted programs can measurably improve empathy, communication, and self-awareness.
- Psychological Safety: the freedom to speak up without fear, is a proven predictor of innovation and resilience. Leaders who model openness create space for others to grow.
- Adaptive Leadership: Adaptive leaders thrive in uncertainty. This approach relies on shared decision-making, a growth mindset, and flexibility. When leaders promote a clear vision and invite collaboration, teams rise with them.
Practical Action Steps:
- Daily Self-Check: What leadership behaviors did I model today?
- Feedback Loop: Ask one person for honest feedback.
- Create Safety: Ask an open-ended question, and then just listen.
- Model Vulnerability: Share one thing you learned the hard way this week.
Observe how others react to your presence this week. Are you steady? Are you consistent? Can people trust your tone before they hear your words? This month, show up before you speak, and lead from who you are, not just what you say.
Citations
- Cuddy, A. J. C., et al. (2022). 'The Role of Nonverbal Behavior in Leadership Perception.' Psychological Science.
- Zak, P. J. (2023). 'Neurobiology of Trust in Organizational Settings.' Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience.
- Frontiers in Psychology (2020). 'Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Effectiveness.'
- The Leadership Quarterly (2020). 'Adaptive Leadership in a Time of Crisis.'
- Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior (2019). 'Psychological Safety and Team Performance.'
Drink AG1: Part of My New Daily Structure
As part of reclaiming my health, I started drinking AG1 in July 2023, and it’s become a key part of my daily routine. One scoop in the morning provides me with 83 high-quality ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and adaptogens. It helps me start my day grounded, even when life is chaotic.
Since drinking AG1, I’ve noticed better energy, more balanced digestion, and an overall smoother start to my mornings. It’s a simple step that supports the kind of structure I talk about in this issue.
As an official AG1 Ambassador, I can offer you their best new-customer deal:
- A free bottle of D3K2 drops
- 10 free travel packs
- A free 30-day supply of Omega-3s
If you’ve been looking for a way to upgrade your morning routine, this is a great place to start.
Click Here to get the AG1 Offer
GRAB YOUR COPY TODAY
Responses